Most of us know one, a great big lump of a guy, looks to the outside world like they're something to be reckoned with but once you get to know them, you realise they aren't really capable of anything. Sometimes, just sometimes they start out like they're going to come up with the goods and surprise you, then they pluck defeat from the jaws of victory and return to type.
In the security world, that useless lump is G4$
We've known they were essentially useless for years, a curious collection of successful companies swallowed up over the years that promises much as a whole yet each time they seem to systematically destroy all that was good about them and take the party line of profit first at the expense of capability.
The Olympic fiasco was predicted on CPWorld months ago, in fact we had doubts years ago but only more recently did the guys start to accurately predict the failings that are hitting the news now.
We knew they paid peanuts and have long seemed to take the view that they were happy to employ monkeys, just as long as positions were filled.
At this years Wimbledon I witnessed many 'security' positions filled by young guys and girls who obviously didn't want to be there (Job centre provision?) in ill-fitting uniform, hands in pockets, chatting to mates on their phones or huddled in groups filling each other in on exactly how drunk they got last night...
Now we have Olympic recruits failing to even turn up in droves, obviously recruited from the same pool of wasters they normally like to find their staff.
“Just four of the 58 staff expected to report for duty at the Hilton Hotel in Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, showed up, one of whom later disappeared”
And there are plenty more examples of this, and no doubt there will be plenty more in the coming week or two.
It's not like they don't have plenty of really well qualified guys willing to do the work, I know a number of really good guys who applied, happy to ignore the poor pay in exchange for being able to be part of 'the event' – you should hear the stories about their interviews and recruitment process.
One guy has just been notified that he's passed vetting and is cleared to work for them, despite withdrawing his application to work for the muppets 3 times!
Other allegations in the news about their inability to vet properly, using staff who haven't yet been cleared themselves to vet others' applications, while the CEO is busy on his holidays in the sun – at least you can see where his priorities lie.
And that's the problem – the guys at the top are only interested in the money, at any cost.
They think they have the capability to deliver, after all they're composed of some (former) great companies, but just like the big lump we know, they're now too big and uncoordinated to do what's required of them.
They guarantee they get the work by bidding 25% lower than anyone else, then fail to deliver what they said they would, knowing full well that even after the claw-back happens they still make a massive profit (perhaps because they've not done anything so their costs to date are nice and low) and can rely of the likes of the Police and Military to bail them out, because there's no way the Government can allow the games to not be properly secured.
It would be nice if G4$ were broken up after this, returning to some of their constituent parts, like Armorgroup, RONCO and The Cotswold Group to name but a few of the great companies swallowed up recently, who were the best at what they did because they were agile, responsive to customer needs and were headed by people who spent a huge amount of time at the sharp end, not swanning about in sharp suits.