-
You have a bladder capacity of five people
-
You've ever restrained someone and it was
not a sexual experience
-
You believe that 25% of people are a waste
of protoplasm
-
Your idea of a good time is a robbery at
shift change
-
Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal
seems perfectly normal to you
-
You find humour in other peoples' stupidity
-
You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac
-
You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75%
of what you see
-
You have your weekends off planned for a
year
-
You believe that a "shallow gene pool"
should be grounds for an arrest
-
You believe that the Government should require
people to have a permit to reproduce
-
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall
you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is
quiet around here".
-
You believe that "too stupid to live"
should be a valid verdict
-
You have had to put a complainant on hold
while you laugh uncontrollably
-
You believe the dispatcher is possessed
-
You think caffeine should be available in
I.V. form
-
When you mention vegetables, you're not referring
to food
-
You believe that the holding cell should
come with a Valium saltlick
-
You have heard "I have no idea how that
got there" on more than a few occasions
-
It occurs to you suddenly one night that
you are patrolling the Twilight Zone
-
You have learned a lot about paranoia simply
by following random cars around in a patrol
car
-
You believe that it was a good death only
if it involves overtime
-
You believe in involuntary sterilisation
