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Guest Critical Incident

the girl/guy you missed and you wish you were with

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Guest Critical Incident

Maybe she was your dream girl during uni and she only stayed as a friend.Maybe he was your prince charming at work but only stayed as a colleague.We are not talking about one nighters here, we are talking about a potential life partner.What happened? What were the circumstances? Where are they now? Do you still keep in touch?

Tell us all about it on radio critical!

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In the immortal words of a well known TV show... Can open... Worms everywhere.

Edit: Captain Morgans talking :-0

Edited by Stamford

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Not quite the same...

First crush at school in year two. Became friends, but when I moved schools (from primary to middle) we lost touch.

2008/9 we ended up working together, she was in a long term relationship (four/five years), ended up going on a couple of dates with her younger sister mind you...

Don't really see either of them now. Just as well, the younger sister gave me the 'lets just be friends' in a empty cinema...urg still makes me feel sick thinking about it!

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Hello radio Critical,

I had a crush on A from the first day I saw her in high school--she was a few years older than me, mind. but she was a friend or my friend's sister and we all used to hang out. At that point I never thought I'd be with her. A was smart, if not one of the smartest students in the school, funny, very easy to be around and was exceedingly pretty. I had a few girlfriends whilst at high school, I say girlfriends loosely as at that age there's not a whole lot that happens, but I did stay with one for two years when I was older. All the while I kept in touch with A and we became good friends. We'd often end up talking through the evenings, skyping (as she was now at uni) and texting all the time. Everyone used to say "If only you were older" and looking back--maybe things would have been different if we'd of gotten together when I was a little older, perhaps now.

One evening, in the week of my exams, we were chatting on messenger and A confessed her love for me. By this point I had already completely fallen for her, but you could imagine my reaction. I didn't believe her and it took another 10 minutes for me to understand what was happening. However A was in a relationship already, but wasn't enjoying it. The male in question wasn't particularly nice to A but, like many people, she couldn't work up the courage to end it. It took a number of months for A to end it with him, whilst we were secretly seeing each other and then it was another number of months after that before I was allowed to go public. That made me feel pretty bad, but I'll get on to that later. As I've said before, A was at uni, and we arranged for me to take the train down and see her and that day/evening was perfect. We explored each other, mentally as well as physically and that evening I gave myself completely to her. A was my first time. A's boyfriend found out I had visited (though didn't know the extent of it) and was furious and took a train down that morning. I left in a rush, feeling like my time had been stolen. A later told me that her boyfriend arrived, walked through the door, took off her clothes and had sex with her, without so much as a word. A hated it.

Eventually A worked up the courage to end it with him and she and I were together. It was perfect. I visited her as much as I could and during the holidays we would spend it all together. We'd go for walks through the park, go out for meals, take the train down to different places and it was perfect. She used to write to me and mail me little surprises. She was such a romantic. She and I would leave each other notes and letters on our visits--she had once left lots of little notes in one of my coats, with each note indicating where the next one was hidden. I genuinely believed that we would be together forever. I guess I still had a certain childish naivety about me.

We were together for two years. I found the distance between us difficult. I know that some people make it work with much greater distances, but perhaps they are better people than I. We would argue. A lot. I was finding everything quite difficult at this point. Getting out of bed, motivating myself, talking to people and just living. We broke up. Or should I say; A broke up with me. I was heartbroken--and I don't think I've fully recovered. I was very close to killing myself, pathetic I know, but was then diagnosed with quite severe depression. Something which I had apparently been suffering from for a number of months without realising. Did it contribute to the breakdown of our relationship? Perhaps.

A doesn't talk to me anymore. I imagine she hates me. Or worse--has no feeling for me whatsoever. I used to think of her all the time and wondered if things would or could have been different. It tortured me for a long time, I would often find myself crying at college and work. No noise. Just tears.

A will always hold a place in my heart, there's no denying it. I gave a piece of me to her that night--and every other time we spent together. I hope she's happy. At the end of the day that's all I ever wanted for her.

So there it is, radio Critical.

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Thought I'd change that Saturday evening. Turns out people change, and some other people don't. Felt like I was 10 years older than her...

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Girl I knew from a social group of friends I'll call her A but when we met she had fallen for me as she enjoyed the fact I would listen to her and help her every time she needed it, she was a very pretty girl (not the brightest I've had pleasure to meet) and she was amazing to talk to, she'd actually listen to me, but after I thought she is perfect and amazing she went missing in the blink of an eye for 4 days and never texted me so, I thought she had been grounded but then her friend B said to me she'd been sleeping with four guys behind my back so I got so enraged as I felt betrayed, I ended our relationship and got so angry, when she returned she told me her friend had manipulated me, I didn't believe her at first but then I realised she was being truthful after she stopped contact, I have always been angry at B for being jealous as I noticed every time we were together she would walk off angry, so until recently she got back in contact and we apologised for our idiocy and it turns out she has taken the dark path of drugs and sex......

Currently trying to help her get off them before she gets arrested again

That is my short story Radio Critical!

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Currently trying to help her get off them before she gets arrested again

Either you've been lied to and the majority of this story is consequently rubbish, or you need to disassociate with her very, very quickly if you want a career in the Police. You

do

not

want to be associated with drug users.

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Either you've been lied to and the majority of this story is consequently rubbish, or you need to disassociate with her very, very quickly if you want a career in the Police. You

do

not

want to be associated with drug users.

Seconded. It may seem harsh to just cut ties, but really look at the situation and you'll realise you probably aren't best placed to help these types of people. We all want to save the world, but you can save everyone buddy.

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Seconded. It may seem harsh to just cut ties, but really look at the situation and you'll realise you probably aren't best placed to help these types of people. We all want to save the world, but you can save everyone buddy.

probably will do, she basically said to me she doesn't want help so i said "i give up on you then" she will pop up on facebook now and again but 9 times out of 10 i wont reply as im usually not near my phone

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probably will do, she basically said to me she doesn't want help so i said "i give up on you then" she will pop up on facebook now and again but 9 times out of 10 i wont reply as im usually not near my phone

Then delete her from Facebook.

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My only story is really from high school.. Thought I had met someone amazing (A) Spent the best part of 2 years together having fun enjoying ourselves.. It then came to light that when UNI came along she wanted the "full UNI experience" This tore me and I wondered why keep going with something that would eventually fall to peices? So I started looking for my current full time job but this was about a 3 hour drive away. We split soon after but I just couldnt hold her back. If she wants to dash off to uni ( get a good result ) and enjoy herself in the process. Who am I to hold her back? We speak maybe once every couple of months to see how things are going but when uni starts in August itl be nill contact.

To this day If she was to come back I would do absolutely anything for her. Shame it isnt reciprocated!

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I wish I had stories like those, but alas.... no one loves me =(

No, unfortunately I've never been great with relationships and the other gender. Not sure why. When I'm out on a night out, and I'm with a nice girl we'll be dancing and then I'll step back and get all formal and say "Excuse me, you appear to be bumping into me [in an erotic manner]" and then I walk off.

Or, as has happened in the past I'll be getting on great with someone, like really connecting and we're awesome together... and then someone suggests that we could be a good couple or something like that and then I just burn down all the bridges.

I would blame my ex for giving me a really horrific time (it wasn't that bad tbf [just incase you're still stalking my online activities]), but that was over a year ago now and I should be able to move on.

So yeah, story of my life; I'm my own worst enemy.

Edited by Sappmer

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So because you lot all seem a bit miserable, I shall give you all my story although with a slightly different interpretation on your title. It's still a story about a girl I missed, still miss and wish I was with all the time.

This one starts way back in 2005 - many moons ago! As part of a school trip, I went to Bordeaux in France to generally mess around on the water. About 1/3 of our school year group went and, as we were reaching that age, some "relationships were starting to bloom." I had never really been involved in "crushes" (Owen!), purely because of a number of issues I had at school; I simply didn't think it'd go anywhere quickly. I generally tried to keep myself to myself (and failed), and distance myself from the womenfolk of the school.

Towards the end of the trip there was a competition which involved building a raft. Being a Scout at the time, I was a dab hand with a few knots and had built many rafts. A girl in our group, who I will refer to as Z, had taken the lead and was tying what I thought were some duff knots. I challenged her, telling her I was a Scout, that I had built many a raft and that she should do it my way. She retorted, telling me she'd done however many courses at a local lake and built rafts all the time, and that her way was right. I conceded, quickly. "Beaten by a girl" they all said. This is my first memory of Z.

After a few months back at school, I noticed that Z was part of our social group - and that she was missing. I hadn't seen her for a few days, but what concerned me more at the time was the fact that I had noticed she was missing. We weren't friends, and I had no real reason to care that she wasn't there. But I did. I discovered that Z was in Nepal, again as part of a school trip, and that she would be back in around nine days.

True enough, nine days later, Z rocked back up at School. She'd got back from Nepal just the day before and so the School had said she could come in a bit later. She made it in at first break. All of her friends saw her and went running over, throwing themselves at her for hugs, asking about her trip and so on. I stood patiently, not wanting to ignore her but also not sure what to do. I sort of wanted to try to hug her as well but wondered if I'd get slapped off. Before I had too long to think, she was just stood in front of me and I...

... Full on roared in her face. Like a dinosaur. To this day I don't know what possessed me to do it but I did. She sort of laughed, said hello and that was that.

Things didn't really "improve" as such between us but we weren't as cold with each other as we had been. We started to talk a little more but never just her and I, we simply happened to be members of the same social group. I heard stories of her trip to Nepal, and specifically about one of the gents that went with her. I started to feel another emotion that I hadn't really felt before and it took me some time to identify it. But I did. I identified it as jealousy. I realised that Z was getting the attention of others around the school as well and I even recall thinking that for one of them certainly, there was perhaps something more there. Slowly, I grew more and more jealous before realising I had to do something about it.

I started to get to know Z a bit more. We started to talk outside of school, having "acquired" her mobile number and (if you remember it!) Bebo details. Talking with Z became something of a routine and I quickly realised I quite liked her. Spending time with her made my day go that little bit more easily, it quashed the effect of the bullying. I enjoyed it. In 2007, two years after we'd first met, I asked the question:

"Z, would you go out with me?"

"No."

"Oh... Are you sure?

"Yes. Sorry..."

I wasn't distraught, if I'm honest. I had expected it. But for the next six months I'm afraid I became quite an annoyance to Z. I asked her out again and again and again, from soppy notes in maths classes to e-mails with song lyrics in. Quite suddenly, there was someone else in Z's life. One of the guys that she'd been hanging around with at the time I started to feel jealous was officially her boyfriend. There and then, I started to get upset. I thought I'd wasted me time, put her off me, wound her up and so on and so forth. At 16, I felt that I could actually start to understand what relationships were about, I wanted to support of someone else in my life and I'd missed my chance.

I was very upset. I said some thinks I shouldn't have said and, if I'm honest, pretty much emotionally blackmailed the poor girl. We started talking more and she became something of a sympathetic ear. I told her how I felt and she sort of suggested she'd split up with her boyfriend from before. A couple of days later I asked the question again and she said yes.

We were together.

We didn't really know what to do if I'm honest. We were both 16 and the relationship clearly meant more to one of us than the other. Things were rocky for about a week with me trying to solidify our relationship, to try to make it mean something, but Z was distant. Not disinterested but unsure. After just a week, she broke it off. I went back to being a bit upset and spent about an hour one day walking laps around the school with her, talking. I don't remember what we talked about (it was 7 years ago!) but I remember it not really changing much. I went home and felt pretty poor for a while, but thought "hey. Life moves on." And so I started to move on.

We were apart for less than two weeks before I got a message on good ol' MSN (other instant messaging networks are available - MSN certainly isn't any more!). She wanted to talk. I couldn't leave the house for a while so we spoke via the wonders of technology. She told me some things, said she'd spoken with some friends and that she'd made a decision. She told me she wanted to be with me again.

So that was that, we were together again. I couldn't wait to get into school, to see her again, to be with her. Things were again, rocky to start with but we started slowly and built a relationship. We were just coming up to exam season and so our time together was a little limited, except for "revision sessions," generally at her house.

And right now? I miss her. I don't get to see her as often as I'd like and she works away a lot. We're both occupied working hard, I volunteer a lot of my time and she likes to be with her family. I miss her terribly when I'm not with her.

I think you would if you'd been together 7 years. 20th May 2007 - twas a good day. The best of days.

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